Big Bro

This post has nothing to do in anyway with the project. Something more personal, I think that has to be put into words. Of late, I've been dreaming of my eldest brother: nightmares that is. And I'm finding it hard to explain why that heroic brother of mine is now the object of my nightmares.

Now, upon deeper analysis, I once remember, as a teenager, showing him my hand for him to read. He told me my lines were so much more defined that his, and that this was a sure sign that I was destined for greatness. I believed him then; but now that I'm in the midst of realising I'm anything but great, I have to admit my brother knew jackshit about fortune-telling. My lines are more defined because he's fairer than me; that's all there was to it. Damn, I'm darker than him in every possible sense of the word. He made me believe—he convinced me— that I was the better son. Jesus Christ, no! I know why I'm having the nightmares: my brother, despite all his faults, is a hero, a true hero; I, on the other hand, am an anti-hero— a borderline villain, if not a full-blown villain. I just don't measure up to him, never did, never will.